The same goes for them. Now, sometimes a little positive reward is fun. Bribery? Maybe, maybe not. But if negative actions bring negative results, shouldn't positive actions bring positive results? Especially for children, when FUN is such an important part of life.
One thing I have done, not with the girls, who I think are now old enough, but I have done with the boys, is to have a Jewel Jar. What I do is have a set number of jewels based on how many I think they have the potential to earn in a set time period, one color for each child. For example, if I want them to get rewarded every week, and I think they have the potential to earn five jewels a day, I would have 35 jewels of each color. By the way, these are chunky PLASTIC jewels that can be found at places like Michael's or Hobby Lobby. I keep the "jewels" in a storage bag or plastic container, then when the child does whatever specific thing they are told or asked to do, and they do it without complaining or whining, etc., they earn a jewel. Getting dressed for school, eating breakfast, doing homework, brushing their teeth, cleaning up toys, etc., as well as overall positive behavior during the day. When the seven days are up, if they have earned their jewels, they receive the pre-determined reward. Allowance, video game time, treats, whatever you decide. If they do blow it on something, such as throwing a fit or complaining or having "selective hearing" when you ask them to do a task, they do not earn a jewel for that task. If they see that they are falling behind, they need to have the opportunity to make up lost jewels.
Now, I don't reward the jewel for whatever it was the child was SUPPOSED to do, if they threw a fit about doing it, even if they finally do it. No, they've lost that chance. So, to make up that lost jewel, there needs to be a list of options they can do, above their ordinary daily activities. (Age appropriate, of course.) Such as - Windex the living room windows, vacuum, fold laundry, anything they CAN do and don't normally do. Pull weeds in the yard or garden, so on.
That way they either will still receive their reward on the "reward day" or they might be a few days behind. Now, if the reward is allowance money and their siblings want to go to the store and spend their money, and one child fears they won't have any money to spend on that day, that is incentive to make sure they make up for lost jewels in time to have fun with their brothers or sisters.
One thing we don't want is for the jewel jar idea to be exasperating or stressful. If it's overly upsetting to the child that they don't get their jewels, maybe they are too young or too emotional for this incentive. Take into account the child's personality traits. Make sure that they understand how much you appreciate it when they make good choices and how much their kind words make the home a happy, peaceful place, and how great it is to have everyone who lives in the house doing their part to help take care of it and keep it clean. They need to know that THAT is the real reason to want them to make those good choices, helping them grow into adults who will already know how to do the right thing and treat people kindly.
Colors are fun - if you can find "jewels" in the children's favorite colors, they will always know whose jewels are whose.
Any ideas to improvise this plan, or to improve it? Have you tried it? How did it work? What was your method?
I'm welcome to hearing other peoples' ideas on things!
Thanks for reading, and Happy Tuesday!
